MY BIGGER BALCONY - The Chronicles of an Amateur Wildlife Gardener

Volume I - A Blank Canvas

Gardens are bloody marvellous, aren’t they? They combine to make the largest single largest habitat in the UK and they’re a vital refuge for so many species that call our yards home. All throughout the dreaded first lockdown, I could think of nothing better than to spend furloughed afternoons lounging around in that glorious spring sunshine. Instead, my pokey flat and diminutive balcony was my only sanctuary. Now, as the second lockdown is upon us, I’ve thankfully had a bit of a change-up. After moving house before Christmas, I’ve upgraded my balcony to a sizeable proper garden, with real grass and everything! It’s just a shame that British winters are so glum and cold.

I’d had gardens previously so I had lofty expectations for my own patch. My old garden in Norfolk was not only home to rafts of sparrows and starlings but I also spotted barn owls, bullfinches and even a turtle dove. I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that I’d expect nothing less than a golden eagle or a capercaillie. They migrate to Essex, right?

So, where to start? Well last I checked, wild birds don’t tend to respond to Facebook calendar invites and large signs with ‘WORLD’S BEST GARDEN, VISIT NOW!’ many not be the most effective of advertising. I had a wall to the right, a fence to the left and a dishevelled combination of the two to the back of the garden. There were some shrubs left behind but no trees or bushes. The previous owners hadn’t been attracting birds previously, so it really was a blank canvas. No other neighbours appeared to have feeders or birdbaths so instantly, it looked like an uphill struggle. As the old saying goes, build it and they will come - so up went the feeders on day one. An assortment of fat balls, peanuts and wild seed was on the menu, so what’s not to love? Like a kid at Christmas, I put the food out, scurried upstairs and glued my nose to the window, waiting for the first takers.

Alas, it wasn’t that simple. At every 5 minute interval, I’d peep my head past the curtain in hope that something feathered would pop by. Granted, this was probably why nothing visited, but I just assumed all birds hated me. I hadn’t felt this rejected since I was last a job-seeker. You start to doubt everything, whether the garden is good enough, whether anything will ever visit. Would my garden just become a green wasteland where birdseed goes to rot? This was about two days in. I wasn’t coping.

Then, as all hope was lost, recompense for my persistence dutifully arrived. A glance from my window one morning was met with a seemingly unfathomable sight. Hours of anxiety were replaced with a moment of pure glee. BIRDLIFE. IN MY GARDEN. This moment could not be understated. From a biodiversity devoid wasteland to essentially Eden, and it only took ten days. Of course, the question on your lips is, which bird was it? Well the eagles were clearly lost en route and the capercaillies must have been stuck in traffic so instead, I had to settle for the next best thing. Woodpigeons. Such an elusive species and very unlikely to see in a garden...

They’re birds, they count. My garden biomass was that slight bit bulkier now and despite not being the pot of gold I cherished, they were the first step. What I soon discovered was that with no thick tree cover nearby, the smaller birds were exposed and thus not so keen. The bigger birds, however, had soon discovered a smorgasbord of potential winter food and came to visit a lot quicker than I anticipated. A resident magpie dropped by to chomp on suet pellets, a carrion crow swung over to see what was what and a pair of collared doves made a daily pilgrimage to the patch. They all followed each other and clearly felt mutual comfort in the presence of other birds. It didn’t stop the woodpigeons from fighting the magpies but that’s the circle of life.

For every great tale, there must be protagonists and of course, there must be villains. Soon, all my hard work to attract the birds looked to be out the window as it became clear that there was an impenetrable force soon to tarnish the garden. Cats. No, not the god awful film but actual felines. It turns out the garden is a convenient alleyway for these furry scallywags. Their very presence putting off any suitors, which undoubtedly sucks. It’s not just one either, there’s a whole troop of different cats assuming what’s mine also theirs. I’ve had cats all my life and this should have come as no surprise to me. This is a battle that is surely too vast to overcome, but I’ll do what I can to humanely control it. Sadly, getting a dog won’t solve the problem (so let me know if you have any reasonable solutions!)

So that’s the humble beginning really. From no wildlife to a stream of regulars in around a month is a decent result. Considering it’s a painfully urban setting with no other bird feeders anywhere nearby, in the context, this is a triumph. If you’re not sure you can attract birds to your garden then mine is living proof you CAN and relatively quickly. My hope for the future? I’d like to put out some more feeders, learn more about the plants in my garden and hope by the spring, small birds feel comfortable to stay here.

 

Oh, and I want my capercaillie. 

The Most Christmassy Birds

Good tidings and all that my festive friends!

The less said about tier four, the better. Sure, Christmas plans have been torn to ruins, lorries are piling up in Kent and lettuces are vanishing but - it's almost Christmas and the end of 2020. My suspicion is that this is the end of the beginning but my prayers are this is the beginning of the end. Rock bottom just seems to be getting deeper eh...

BUT ENOUGH OF THAT: Yay for Christmas! Lots of lights, mountains of munchies and Chicken Run on TV, what can't you love about this traditional time of year? However, ornithologically speaking, there is one creature so synonymous with Crimbo that you'd think they live in caves until December. If you don't have a robin displayed somewhere in your house right now, you're not doing Christmas right. A card, bauble or crudely-wrapped Toblerone, these red-throated rascals follow our every festive move and let's face it, they are ruddy cute.

That being said, not to rock the boat, but are they getting a bit... boring? Sure, they're part of the furniture at this time of year but with so many other great bird species in Britain, should the yuletide spotlight shine on another? The 'turtle doves' in the twelve days reside in Africa this time of year (so do they know it's Christmastime at all?) and penguins get a bye because snow is a wintery thing, so who else can we add to the list for next year? Which bird should cover our mantlepieces and be snipped into snow angels? Who should rival the robin for the ultimate Christmas bird? Well, here are some options:

BRAMBLING

A true trouser rubber. These are an ultimate wintertime bird and absolute beauties as well. These essentially rustic chaffinches scream of chilly December days and are always a treat to see around this time of year. Sadly, they're not quite as common as a robin, however, that obscurity is what gives them their charm. That bright orange breast isn't too far from our quintessential little rockers so if you don't want to be quite so unorthodox, these guys would be a simple switch. I could certainly imagine a brambling atop my Christmas tree, could you?

SNOW BUNTING

How these guys aren't a mainstay of Christmas across the country is beyond me. They literally have snow in the name but no-one could bat an eye-lid to these absolute stonkers. Snow buntings are a twitcher's dream come true and with their ice white colouring and dainty orange bills, they're also the perfect cover stars for a frosty Christmas card. Their mottled grey and brown back make them look like they're already wearing a Christmas jumper. They're practically begging to be in the club. Alas, their rarity is probably their downfall, but that shouldn't stop them being a future festive icon.

REDWING

One of the most important attributes of a Christmassy bird is one which manifests a strong sense of nostalgia for this time of year. The winter arrival of the redwing is certainly one that ticks that box. With our Christmas colour scheme mostly being red, these guys have that covered as well. Long and dark winter nights are all about listening out for these fabulous thrushes flitting overhead. Get a snap of one of them devouring a holly or hawthorn berry and you've got yourself a cracker. The season is not complete without them so if anyone can overthrow the robin, it's these guys.

GREY PARTRIDGE

Is this inclusion cheating ever so slightly? They may be synonymous with sitting in a pear tree but our colloquially 'English' partridges don't tend to get the festive plaudits they deserve. Our Christmas dinners usually revolve around game birds but we can perhaps appreciate them without covering them in gravy. For those growing up in the countryside, Christmastime is all about frosty forrays around farmland and plump partridges are denizens of broad open fields. Well, at least they should be, their significant population declines have made them sadly scarce. Maybe a more prominent profile at Christmas would help, they'd make a great bauble of theme for a Christmas jumper?

BARN OWL

I'm biased and I don't even care. Owls tend to be symbols of wisdom but why not a white owl as a symbol of Christmas? Barn owls aren't exclusive to winter but there's something extra etherial about watching these spirit-like birds glide over snow covered fields. The reflection makes them seemingly glow. If you're going to employ a new poster-boy for Christmas, you need something that is charismatic, eye-catching and ultimately merry. Ignore the fact that they're a shrieking mouse destroyer, they'd look glorious on a Christmas card. Hardly a regular garden visitor for most but maybe they can be a regular on the Christmas tree.

That's my list anyway, which birds do you think should be part of Christmas tradition more? Let me know in the comments below...

Adios and Feliz Navidad!

The Best British Bird Trivia

Who doesn’t love the odd random fact? With lockdowns impinging our ways of engaging with each other, many of us have found quizzes to be a conversational way to connect and catch up. We have a great desire to find obscure pieces of information and if you’re a naturalist, you revel in the opportunity to share such bizarre trivia with others.

Birdlife in the UK is varied and as a nation, we have a profound fondness for our feathered friends. With that being said, there’s plenty of whacky facts regarding our ornithological neighbours. Fancy a nugget of wisdom to share with your family over Christmas? Or perhaps just wanting to learn something new? Look no further.

Here are eight of my favourite pieces of British bird trivia.

Swifts and their lack of legs

A bold call, but arguably swifts are the most underrated birds that you can find in the UK. Their soaring screeches are the sound of summer and a phrenologists dream. They’re also incredible marvels of nature as not only is their migration astounding, not only do they SLEEP ON THE WING but they also have no feet. Well, sort of. Their Latin name Apus apus loosely translates to ‘lack of feet’, which is partially true. They do have legs, however they’re incredibly small and weak. For a bird that lives most of its life flying, it’s evolved to only really need legs when they are in their nest. Like your lightweight mate, they’re basically legless.

When falcons meet football

There’s plenty of links between British birds and football clubs, what with the Owls of Sheffield and the Thrushes of West Brom, but there’s even a football game named after a bird. No, the FIFA pipit does not exist. Your dad’s favourite table top football game is of course Subbuteo, but did you ever wonder where that random name came from? Well, we’re back in the land of Latin to explain this one. When the creators of the game were told they couldn’t call it ‘Hobby’, they improvised and went with the scientific name for the bird with the same name. I guess a bird of prey fits, they’re both good at playing on the wing.

The Egyptian Shelduck

Remember those geese that swapped the pyramids for the Norfolk broads? Yeah, they’re not actually geese. This news isn’t earth shattering but it’s still technically true. I mean, they’re not a species of finch or anything, but geese they are not. Genetically, Egyptian geese are more closely related to shelducks, but calling them geese I guess rolls off the tongue better. They are originally from Egypt so don't panic, that part remains true. If it walks like a goose and honks like a goose, maybe it’s actually a duck?

Magpie in the mirror

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Corvids are ruddy smart. Ravens are excellent mimics, carrion crows have exhibited tool use and quite incredibly, magpies can recognise themselves in a mirror. They have the ability to look at their reflection and understand that they're not just looking at another magpie but at their own face/bill. That might not seem like a huge feat, as humans possess this trait at 18 months old, but given that they are one of only a handful of animals on Earth that have self recognition, it’s quite something. The proud accolade for the magpie is that they are the only species of bird on the planet to recognise oneself in a mirror. Maybe being a bird brain isn’t so bad after all...

The rarely found 'common' gull

The guys who first named all the birds clearly loved a wind up. First Egyptian non-geese now this?! You would think that common gulls are the most populous of these seabirds, flooding our coasts and becoming so frequent, they’re irrelevant. Wrong. This honour goes to our black-headed and herring friends, with common gulls nowhere to be seen. Less of a regular, more of a rarity and even one to get the gull fanatics salivating. There’s a few varied explanations for this misnomer but the widely agreed reason is that they used to have much larger populations (so were common when categorised) and would nest on ‘common’ land like rough pastures and open fields. Perhaps they should be more commonly known as the field gull instead, does that even work?

Bearded loners

The tit family is full of iconic species such as the blues, the greats and the coals. For any wetland wanderers, the joy of catching a glimpse or to hear the pinging of a bearded tit is a real treat. Except, much like our Egyptian friends, we have a misnomer! They’re not part of the tit family at all. Initially, scientists believed that they were most closely related to the parrotbill family, however further research has found that these flitting reed dwellers are alone in their own unique family; Parunidae. They don’t conform to the categories that society has shoved them into and they’re living their best lives. Good on them.

Woodpecker tongue twisters

Our native green, great spotted and lesser spotted woodpeckers are iconic and easily recognisable but I bet a good question that you’ve never thought to ask is, how do they not get a headache? We lightly bang our noggins on a cupboard door and we wince all evening, so how can they keep a cool head by drilling their face into a tree repeatedly? Well, a number of factors contribute, including a dense skull, strong neck, a head full of shock absorbers and a very small brain. Sorry guys. But that’s only the second most exciting fact about a woodpeckers head (I know right) because their massive tongues actually curl from the top of their skulls, round the back of their brains and back round to their bill. Their tongues can be around 10 centimetres in length - a third of their body length. Now THAT’S one to tell the grandkids.

Goatsucking nightjars

I know right. Weird. But hear me out, nightjars used to be known as goatsuckers. The guys in charge of naming all the birds also ran with some other names like ‘darkness-tub’ and ‘evening-Tupperware’ but I guess they stuck with nightjar. Anyway, back to sucking goats. This is a name that first came around over 2000 years ago when farmers would find these birds roosting amongst their livestock overnight. Instead of thinking they were simply sleeping, the logical explanation was that they were hungry for milk. Obviously. The answer was that the goats pooped, attracted flies and other bugs which therefore attracted our insectivorous feathered friends. Although maybe dung beetle and goats milk make a cracking combo...

What are your favourite facts about our birds? Are there any corkers that I have missed? I'd love to hear them so do pop a comment below!

Adios...

How to Effortlessly Help Wildlife

Greetings once again dear blog-readers and welcome to another instalment of the greatest blog ever written*.

(i) Official sources have stated that this might be true.

We may be in the depths of lockdown 2.0 but at least we’re allowed outside for a bit longer than last time. Last Sunday, I decided to have a nice quiet walk around a nearby park and just soak in all the green naturey goodness. Instead, I was greeted by hoards of dog walkers and pushchairs. Even outside of social distancing, it’s difficult to appreciate nature when flocks of humans trample past. In a park that was teaming with wildlife, most people turned a blind eye to what was around them and were more concerned with cappuccinos and Christmas shopping.

And, it made me think. It's not the first time that I've been out with my camera and received weird looks for showing an interest in wildlife. This notion that my intrigue is somewhat uncomfortably obscure is, to me at least, unfathomable. This could be a generalisation but the average member of the public probably doesn't care about wildlife. It’s not the end of the world that, but just think if everyone stopped, looked and listened to the outdoor world, it would make a huge difference. You don’t have to be a binocular bridled bird nerd to care about the environment, we can all play our part. Similarly, we don’t all need to chain ourselves to trees or sabotage a fox hunt, it’s more straightforward than this.

Want to help wildlife without even really thinking about it? Here are some minimal ideas that ought to help you get there.

1. Respect their space

This logic can be applied to anyone walking down the street to avid photographers - just leave them be. Humans are the most destructive, dominant and dangerous living creature to have ever walked the Earth and yes, that includes you. The natural world hates our guts and it’s probably due to all the terrible things we’ve done to it. In light of this, not getting up all in their grill is probably best. Ecosystems are fragile enough without everyone stomping all over it. In a year where we’ve learned to appreciate each other from a distance, do the same for nature. Keep to paths, keep dogs are controlled as possible and generally, don’t be an idiot.

2. Feed them (correctly)

As our wildlife is yet to discover their own supermarkets, the significance of food and water in their lives is massive. When habitats have shrunk and food webs have been shattered, we can certainly lend a hand by giving them that extra bit of aid. However, as with most food, it must be healthy and in moderation. I’m not saying there’s a pigeon obesity crisis but if we want to optimise health, it’s important we don’t give them junk. The worst offender? Bread. To be clear, a few crumbs here and there isn’t apocalyptic but given the way so many people lob whole loaves into ponds, they’re like a crusty ticking time bomb. Not only is it incredibly unhealthy but it can wean wild birds away from natural food sources, as well as cause water pollution. Seeds, grapes and peas will do just fine, anything but bread! In the same token, make sure you leave enough wild food out during Autumn. Blackberries and apples make a great pie but when they’re in your fridge and not on a hedge, that can make a lovely starving blackbird. You don’t need every last bit of fruit, so leave some for the birds.

3. Be less trashy

Litter. The age-old enemy of any avid environmentalist. The consumable world we live in means waste is unavoidable but what is not excusable is the misuse of this rubbish. The height of laziness is not being able to carry a banana peel or a crisp packet. As soon as it’s on the floor, it’s not your problem, right? Well, when it flies off into a water supply, down a drain, into the sea and into a turtles belly, then it might just be a problem. The outdoors is not one big landfill. Be that one annoying friend and carry a bottle home to be recycled. Bag it all up and make sure it’s binned correctly. If a bin's overflowing, don't stuff it in there like a jumbled wardrobe, take it home with you. Don’t just assume someone below you should sort it, it’s not a feudal system. This logic requires such painfully minimal effort and costs nothing, but it’s still one of the biggest issues plaguing the planet today.

4. Embrace what you don't know

Ever wandered past a fungus that you didn’t know the name of? Or not been able to decipher one gull from another? We’ve all been there, but the most important part is being curious and engaging with learning more. Simply accepting that you can’t be bothered to learn about something new is pretty ignorant. Questioning the world around you is an absolutely minimal and even pointless thing to get fired up about, but if you share your knowledge and it sparks engagement in someone else, off goes that butterfly effect. A wider environmental consciousness in society is not a bad thing and should be actively encouraged. It’s better that then wrongly telling your friends that a coot is a duck. It swims, doesn’t it? Look beyond the steps ahead of you, shut your mind off to your immediate reality and you will discover sights, sounds and smells that you never first realised were all around.

There are of course plenty of more elaborate ways to be a gold star wildlife saviour but we’ll take baby steps for now. Next time you’re out and about, have a second thought about the ecosystems that surround you. It honestly doesn't take much effort, trust me.

Adios...

Why UK Biodiversity SUCKS.

Now guess who’s back with a brand new rant.

In my last piece, I highlighted the woes of being a young naturalist on planet Earth. Now, just to add insult to injury, I’m adjusting the spotlight on somewhere a bit closer to home. I say closer, I mean literally at home.

Sorry guys, but the fact is: the biodiversity in the UK officially SUCKS.

Now before you sharpen your pitchforks and google my IP address, hear me out. Of course, we have no rainforests or savannahs but even in the most simplistic of contexts, the UK’s natural environments are feeble. We do all deeply love the nature on our doorsteps but sometimes, we just need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. The flora and fauna of this country are pathetic in comparison to every single one of our neighbours and we have practically no grounds to dispute it.

I suppose you now want me to provide my grounds to dispute that the biodiversity is fantastic. Well, gladly.

Let’s start with something that’s completely out of our hands: geography. Now the UK has a temperate climate, much like the rest of Europe, but with more interesting biomes surrounding us, our deciduous woodlands, sandy coasts and occasional mountains seem vanilla. We’re not cold enough to draw drown the titans of the tundra yet we’re too mediocre to tempt upwards those from the Mediterranean. Sure, climate change has helped, bringing bee-eaters north and walruses south but still, that’s only a result of the deeply depressing temperature changes that have shaped the earth. Whilst large mammals like wolves and lynx have freely expanded across the subcontinent, our position surrounded by water has obviously hampered this. The only hope of bringing back the large land mammals we once decimated is to drag them by our own accord. Even If they could get here, would they want to stay?

From an ornithological perspective, I find myself looking at the incredible species that you can find so easily on the continent but would be a treat in the UK. Common cranes in their thousands in Germany, black-winged stilts in France, griffon vultures in Spain - the list could go on. My point is that the birds we regard as rarities may as well be garden birds across the channel. The habitats are more or less the same, the population densities aren’t too dissimilar - they just clearly hate it here.

To add insult to injury, this already isolated island in the North Sea also happens to have one of the longest histories of any country on Earth. To cut a long story short, it has been a tumultuous last 2000 years for the inhabitants of Great Britain. Even before that, we set about doing all that we could to eradicate species like cave bears and mammoths as best we could. Let me tell you, we did a smashing job. Over the centuries of various kings and queens, we’ve taken what was a rugged and wild island and completely coated in our artificial world. Forests felled for farming, rivers ruined and populated cities popping up left, right and centre. Our developments in industry and agriculture came at the price of our natural history. Then again, when the factories of the north were booming and London became one of the most important cities in the world, not many people stopped to ask where all the wildlife had gone. As a country, we were just very good at putting people first.

The relief is of course that this history of bullish ignorance towards our biodiversity is long behind us. Guess again. In the modern era, many of the mindsets of old have carried over. Fox hunting is somehow a cherished cultural event. Grouse shooting is condoned by the highest royalty. HS2 is all of a sudden a great idea. The logic of a disregard for the wild is deep-rooted in our society, more so than most other countries. Today, we’re met with a demand for more housing, bigger arable fields and more convenient transport infrastructure, all within the same island which remains the same size. Actually, which sea-level rise and coastal erosion, it’s shrinking.

Despite climate change and environmental decline being a hot topic for many world leaders, our government has failed massively. This isn’t a political statement, it is a scientific fact. 41% of UK species are in decline, birds like the turtle dove and hen harrier could be on the brink of national extinction and our iconic hedgehogs are staring over the edge of the precipice. Having been given twenty biodiversity targets to hit within ten years, the UK fell short in seventeen of them and was argued to have gone backwards in six of them. These included sustaining wildlife populations, managing land use for conservation and providing funding for conservation. The government had a clear set of goals and like a disinterested sixth-former, got a U in almost every exam. But how many more chances are there for a resit?

Sucks, eh?

But, it’s not all doom and gloom. Trust me.

As a country, we have spawned some of the most significant conservation charities in the world, including the Wildlife Trusts, RSPB and Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust. We have successfully brought avocets, red kites and otters back from the brink. We’re working hard to bring back white-tailed sea eagles, beavers and white storks. Rewinding projects like at Knepp or Wild Ken Hill are proving that we can develop our wilderness once again and let it thrive. We are the nation that inspired David Attenborough, Peter Scott, Chris Packham etc. If these heavyweights of conservation were engaged enough by what we have to offer, it can’t be that bad?

What can you do to better the situation? Well if you fancy building your own nature reserve or harass the prime minister until he agrees to ban driven grouse shooting, that might help! The main thing we can all do is small collective changes. Support your local conservation charities, feed your garden birds, reduce how much waste you produce. The list is endless. However, my biggest piece of advice is to try and engage as many people as you can with the environment. The more people that care, the better.

It may be dishevelled rocky outcrop filled with smoggy cities and a hopeless government, but it’s ours. As much as it’s depleting nature worries us to our core, it’s why we care for it so much.

Adios...

Why Being a Young Naturalist SUCKS

They say the world is your oyster, but what if you want your world to be about studying oysters?

Well, we’re nearly there, 2020 is almost over. Don't worry guys, we've got this!

I thought I’d ramble on again as I have done so many times before but this time, I’m whacking it up a notch from a ramble to a rant. For now, I’ll passionately shout to the hilltops about something which has been getting my goat for years and is evidently shared by many in a similar boat.

That fact is: being a young naturalist in 2020 SUCKS. Don’t believe me? Allow me to elaborate.

 1. The Planet

In case you’re new to this, we’re doomed. With wild spaces depleting, populations expanding and biodiversity crashing, our dear old Earth is going through its most rapidly awful time in its history. You don’t need me to remind you of this, Sir Dave did a splendid job on Netflix. The reality is that everyone before us will likely not experience the worst of our climate crisis and those after us will look at this generation for answers. Great, it’s now our problem. Like a pilot handing you the controls of a crashing plane as he parachutes away. No pressure guys.

Anyone who has studied a conservation-based degree will tell you that each lecture should probably come with a supplement of anti-depressants. The outlook is generally glum and the solutions to the Earth's great problems seem out of reach. But hey, at least the politicians know this and are prioritising this in all their policies...

2. Society

I can’t speak for literally every person on Earth but it is a fair assessment to say that the majority of Homo sapiens walking this green planet don’t give too many hoots about nature. As a whole, the masses are more concerned about economics, personal progression and their own happiness. Everyone claims to love David Attenborough but in the same breath would also not know how to recycle or would find birdwatching weird. If it's cute, pulse-racing and consumable within reach, then it's worth caring about. We all have different personalities and the reality is that not every single living individual has a vested interest in the environment.

What this does mean is that for the select few that bring their Eco-concerns to the forefront is a feeling of isolation. Singularity. Pointlessness. If no one cares as much as I, what is the point? The mindset is as much about fighting lack of awareness as it is environmental issues themselves. The holy grail of any naturalist is to tap into the consciousness of humanity and for there to be a reciprocal understanding of the planet's plight. Alas, the world will probably only wake up once it’s too late. That sucks.  

3. Opportunities

Fortune favours the brave. You only live once. Life is short. You get the picture, there are mountains of stock phrases if you need the motivation to follow your dreams. In the real world that we actually live in, pursuing an environmental career in a field you’re actually passionate for is practically impossible. Undergraduate degrees in zoology, ecology, conservation etc. serve as merely cartoon roads leading to fake Wile E Coyote tunnels. The great promise of profitability dashed by the simple reality of the job market. Any entry-level environmental job requires years worth of voluntary experience alongside a Masters degree. An undergraduate degree on its own feels like a broom without a brush. For those who need to get on with life and make sure there’s enough money in the bank to keep the lights on, this path isn’t as straightforward. Opportunities are evidently dictated by supply and demand, however, in a world where environmental awareness is such a marketable buzzword, you'd think there'd be plenty of companies eager to snap up the next generation of eco-warriors.

That's not to say that the opportunities are not out there, however they're beyond so many hurdles that the sprint is practically painful. Perhaps it is lack of motivation that is the clincher, but is it too much to ask to have a more straightforward career path? Time for another stock phrase: life isn't fair.

Rant over.

Not to be a negative nelly, but these are the harsh realities of the matter. The 'inconvenient truths' if you will. But it can't all be bad, surely?

Well as naturalists, we find enjoyment in the greener things in life, and when you scratch the surface, there's plenty to actually be optimistic about. The rise of renewables is a cause for celebration, plenty of successful reintroductions are bearing fruit and environmental activism has never been so vocal. In an age of social media, environmentalists must keep tapping into this fountain of knowledge from which this generation is immersed within. From my own experiences of like-minded environmentalists on social media, they're all a great bunch with sound core values. 

In terms of opportunities, it is how much you are willing to sacrifice to follow what you truly want. It simply is not feasible for everyone but if you are committed to your passion, you can shape your own destiny. If you want to do it and believe you can do it, then never give up.

The natural world is undeniably amazing and I am confident that the human world will do all that they can to preserve it. I guess that doesn't suck that much?

What do you love/hate most about being a naturalist in this day and age? Let me know in those comments!

Adios... 

My Top City Breaks

Good morrow dear fellows.

Yes, the blog is still alive, believe it or not. I've unfortunately come down with a pesky ailment known as 'work', meaning I have less time to rabbit on about, well rabbits in some cases.

My nature nonsense isn't for everyone though and oddly enough, I do have a life outside of just knowing lots about ducks. Back in the olden days when Tiger King was just a type of prawn and exam results were actually as a result of exams, I happened to be able to leave the house and even the country without fear of someone coughing on me in a different language. No quarantines, no masks, just embracing other cities and their cultures.

The UK does indeed have some spiffing city break opportunities themselves, however, if you were to weigh up New York versus Old York, the yanks sadly triumph there. We all go on holiday to escape the monotony of what is inevitably our everyday lives in search of something different and even better. Glossy images of sun-kissed promenades or world-famous architectural phenomena draw us in and get those juices flowing. The reality is that whilst some cities surpass their expectations, some may fall short of the mark.

In the last four years, I have gone abroad on seven occasions to (technically) six different countries all in aid of a tantalising trip never to forget. Whilst all my journeys are memorable, alas some are for varying reasons. Please note that this list isn't solely based on the cities themselves but also influenced by my own experiences there. It's merely my opinion and I'd love to hear contrasting stories from the places I've visited.

Right, let's crack on. In ascending order:

7. ROME, Italy

The wooden spoon in this list goes to Italy's capital and although it is not an awful city by any means, my stay was probably the least enjoyable of the lot. The city that famously was not built in a day and one where you also get two countries for the price of one (thanks Vatican City). On paper, an ancient city brimming with history with enough gelato to form a glacier sounds like pure perfection. In reality, the experience for me felt a bit awkward throughout. In Rome's defence, we planned this trip dreadfully. We'd picked a remote hotel, hadn't planned out what we wanted to when and we didn't have too much disposable income at the time. I'm also not a huge history boffin so although the majesty of the colosseum was incredible, it felt a bit vacant on the inside. Even though we thought we'd gone outside of peak season, Rome felt crowded and at times overwhelming. There were also a few hiccups with public transport which, being British, only added to the frustrations. The pizza was good though, as you'd expect.

Pro tips for Rome: Go in autumn/winter when it's colder, don't listen to strangers and have a vague interest in ancient history.

6. DUBLIN, Ireland

A* for convenience but a solid D for the whole trip in general. We discovered flights that meant we could leave for Dublin early in the morning and return the same evening (for around £18, which is cheaper than my commute). The buzz of spontaneously booking a day trip to essentially a different country did wear off fairly soon after arriving though. The castle and ha'penny bridge were must-sees and we ticked these off the list fairly quickly. What I loved about Dublin was a combination of feeling like a familiar city but also being basically abroad. The day was boding well until literally midday when the most Irish or Irish things struck. No, a leprechaun with a pint of Guinness did not throw some fudge at me, it rained. When I mean rained, it Irish rained. None of this English drizzle, it went for it. Ultimately, walking round Trinity College, St Patricks Church and the Temple Bar was quite so enjoyable whilst we were soaked to the bone. We also happened to eat at the one restaurant on the Temple Bar that did not serve Guinness. It's like an English cafe without tea. All in all, Dublin can be done in a day and presumably more enjoyably if the sun comes out.

Pro tips for Dublin: Skip the Book of Kells, look for cheap flights, and bring an umbrella.

5. MARRAKECH, Morocco

Two years ago, I blessed the rains down in Africa for a semi-city-break, semi-all-inclusive break. Forget the great plains or the Congo basin, Africa above the Sahara is hot hot hot and its tourism industry is developing nicely (well, probably not right this second). What I didn't realise was you need to fill in an immigration form when you arrive and leave the country, so be prepared. I've never seen such a mad scramble to get a pencil in my life. This almost desert destination, despite being a sunbather's paradise also has plenty of culture to it. Its botanical garden, the Jardin Majorelle, is a stunning oasis in the city centre, along with its main square filled with market stalls that give visitors plenty to do. On top of this, no-one can turn down a camel ride, ride? The downsides lie in both the intense heat which my pasty English body couldn't handle and the up-front nature of the locals which my pathetic English mindset couldn't get my head around. Brash street salesmen are of course part of the culture and if you prefer a quieter getaway, perhaps the streets of this Moroccon city may not be to your liking.

Pro tips for Marrakech: Make sure to try and plan experiences in advance, bring a pencil case, don't stay in the sun for too long.

4. PRAGUE, Czechia.

Remember like every film or TV show that depicts Eastern Europe as this cold, desolate and glum place? Prague is definitely the living counter-argument for this perception. With so many cities in the Eastern block opening their arms to tourists over the last few years, Prague is arguably the jewel in the crown. As soon as Brits realised it's got running water, electricity and cheap beer, the stags flocked to the Czech Republic for a mad one on foreign shores. Turns out there is more to this city then just prancing with 'the lads', it's a place of intriguing history, both ancient and modern. With a picturesque old town, scenic bridges and arguable the largest castle in the world, you won't complain about being bored. That exchange rate helps the bank and most Prague residents have learned English at school, so there's less of an awkward language barrier. The best word to describe Prague would be quaint as there are lots to do but nothing to truly take your breath away. Our experience was somewhat tainted by the choice of hotel (my bad) but there are plenty of other options available. The city isn't huge either so you can tick everything off your list in under a week. Also, there are chimney cakes, they're awesome.

Pro tips for Prague: Don't bring too much cash with you, get a chimney cake, be super careful when booking a hotel.

3. VALENCIA, Spain

A controversial pick this. There certainly bigger cities in the world, cities with more glitz and glamour and certainly more cities with things to do. I don't know why but I just adore Valencia. Perhaps overshadowed by other Mediterranean destinations, Valencia is a vibrant hub for culture, history, and food. Their central market is one of the largest in Europe and the famous 'City of Arts and Sciences' houses some of the most unbelievable modern architecture you will ever see. For sun-seekers, you can alternate a city break with a beach day, such as the beauty of being by the coast. For our trip, we spent a bit of time in the botanical garden there, as well as the famous cathedral which offers unrivalled views across the city. Perhaps the draw of Valencia was the lack of hustle and bustle. It doesn't feel like a tourist-packed rat-race, the pace of life more relaxed and with a public transport network that can take you anywhere across the city, it is perfectly suited for city-breakers. Much like Prague, it isn't an endless paradise by any means but there's definitely enough in Valencia to keep you more than occupied for a weekend away.

Pro tips for Valencia: Have a fondness for Paella, find a decent beach to go to, visit their zoo (because I didn't get round to it!)

2. NEW YORK CITY, USA

From small oranges to Big Apples, the city that never sleeps is a must for any holiday-goer. What astounded me about New York City was truly how much there is to take in at every moment you're there. The gargantuan skyscrapers and the boulevards that feel like they wrap around the globe, it's a feast for the eyes. I'm not going to explain everything to see in NYC because everyone knows about the Empire State Building, The Statue of Liberty and World Trade Center (they're all amazing by the way) but I also enjoyed seeing a production on Broadway, visiting the railway-turned-garden 'Skyline' and having an authentic New York Cheesecake. Yes, there is a lot of food and yes it is massive. My weird food epiphany came when having fried chicken along with a scone because that's how Americans chow down. I don't need to sell NYC too much as it pretty much sells itself and it's a city everyone longs to visit. My only hesitations were the long flights and the aggressively manic street life of New Yorkers. You don't have time to sit and soak it in, you've got to keep moving otherwise the crowds will devour you. The city that never sleeps will certainly keep you awake for the first day or so but once jet-lag hits, good luck. All in all, New York City is mesmeric.

Pro tips for New York City: Plan well in advance, get a tourist pass early, beware the moody weather patterns.

1. BARCELONA, Spain.

It had to be exceptional to outweigh New York City and oddly, Barcelona does just that. In comparison to a city renowned across the world, maybe it doesn't have the universal draw but when put simply 'Where is the best city break destination?' - the answer is Barcelona. Much like Valencia, its Mediterranean climate ideal for anyone escaping grey skies and it allows for the same beach break flexibility. Sports fans can marvel at the Nou Camp, art aficionados can gaze at the wonders of Parc Guell and, well any tourist really, can appreciate the magnitude of the enormous Sagrada Familiara. There's no more vibrant spot in Europe than La Rambla under the Spanish summer sun with market stalls teeming with tapas. Barca is one of the few cities where we ran out of time and would happily return in the future. Such as the hold of the city, if it has the power to draw you back in then it's definitely somewhere special. Yes it can be overwhelmingly busy at times and has a bad reputation for street crime but in honesty, most European cities do, the spotlight just seems to be on Barcelona. If you're logical and aware of your surroundings, there are no issues. A city with bold basilicas, astounding stadia unique cuisine, Barcelona rightly tops the list.

Pro tips for Barcelona: Book more than a week, don't walk around with cash in your hand, don't mention Bayern Munich.

Subject to this global pandemic magically disappearing overnight, where should I go next? Which of my decisions on these destinations do you disagree with? Let me know in whatever way you can.

Adios amigos!